It took me roughly nine-thousand years, but it finally happened; I became obsessed with Lush. I have had a loose alliance for several years because Karma is my go-to scent of choice. It’s…kinda funny how it happened though. Have you seen those weird #CRUSHMYLUSH videos on Instagram? Well, I hate them. Sorta. Why would you want to crush perfectly good Lush?!
My addiction came on like a slow burn. I dragged my boyfriend to the nearest location to scout out deeply moisturizing body washes. I take a lot of showers when I’m sick, and I’ve been sick a lot this year. My skin has taken it like a champ, but its patience was wearing thin. I needed something incredibly nourishing.
Am I A Lush?
We walked in and were immediately mesmerized by the bath bomb display and testing area. If you haven’t been to a stand-alone Lush store, you absolutely must go. Sea parks might be going belly-up but this is the new crowd pleaser. Get a gaggle of 8-50 year old women gathered around that little sink and watch their eyes light with the fizzy magic of a Lush Bubble Bar. Or get my boyfriend (he’s the only bath-taker in this household).
The employees can smell my Lush virginity, my confused blood is in the water. They’re circling closer and closer…until, “May I help you find anything today?!” Seriously, they must snort the bath bombs because no one should be that chipper. Although it’s not off-putting given the setting. I explain my dilemma, she grabs my arm, and we head to a different sink. (Bye-bye, Bath Bomb Sink.) She goes through an arsenal of washes, scrubs, cleansers, cleansing lotions, and whatever else. The Scrubee and Oaty Creamy Dreamy speak to me on a spiritual level. My pupils dilate, I sway slightly. I’m hooked.
I pick up the Pearl Massage Bar, the nifty little tin for it to live in, another bottle of Karma, and the boyfriend grabs an Intergalactic Bath Bomb. I cackle and dance all the way to the car. No, we cannot go out to dinner! I have to shower immediately. Drive, chauffeur!! I mean…sweet, sweet, angelic boyfriend.
I Am Definitely A Lush
Since that first encounter with Lush, I’ve been back one other time; to discover the magic and wonder that is their limited holiday releases. Lord of Misrule Shower Gel is my newest obsession. I feel about it how some people feel about crack…or brunch. Mix that with a little Oaty Creamy Dreamy and John Mayer will write songs about your sensually green body. Did I mention that it foams green? My poor, sweet boyfriend found me cackling and mumbling to myself as I admired my new hue. It washes off but you’ll the wicked feeling remains.
Then I realized that I can get the wonderful smell of Karma in all shapes and sizes, like KARMA KREAM BODY CREAM! Now let me just take a moment to fill you in on what Karma smells like. Yes, it has patchouli, lemongrass, and all things Haight-Ashbury…but that doesn’t REALLY tell you what it smells like. Here you are: Intergalactic white tigers having high tea on the astral plane. That’s it. Super simple really.
Grab a Pumice Power, some Whoosh Shower Jelly, and a Christmas Rocker for good measure. You’re all set! You’re now a Lushie and there is absolutely no hope for you or your boyfriend’s bank account. But people will speak very highly of how soft you are and the heady cloud of fragrance that surrounds you. I’ve even started speaking in a sleepy whisper befitting my new lifestyle. (Okay, not really.)
Lush has changed my life and dethroned all other bath and body brands for me. Seriously. I’m not talking out my ass and this isn’t a paid post. 100% my honest opinion, love, and devotion. Everything I’ve got from there is a dream and a half. Cleansing, soothing, moisturizing, and fun. Not to mention their commitment to animals and the planet is truly awe-inspiring.
Here’s to you, Lush. You own my heart completely.